How many people are out there wishing for that magical moment when the love of their life walks in the door, shows up next to them in the grocery line, bumps into them on the street, writes that email of interest from the online dating site? It is the week leading up to our Hallmark celebration of love day…Valentine’s Day. A whole lot of people are feeling the gaping hole created by red heart-shaped boxes lining the front of the grocery store isles, and various messages throughout all the media that screams “you’re nobody till somebody loves you!” Or maybe that’s just me… My wish for this week is that everybody, who has the slightest romantic interest in someone, take the leap and ask him or her out. Open to the possibility that person will say a resounding “yes”. I believe there is at least one someone for everyone. So…take a deep breath. Open your heart and go for it. And report back to me.

Normally I don’t start my day looking at the news as it tends to affect my mood. I don’t like starting out the day with sadness. This morning I had to do some online banking and when I was done clicked over to CNN.com. I read the article and listened to the clip about James Ray being arrested for the deaths of the 3 people in his Sedona sweatlodge last fall. As I watched him walk into the prison, he seemed to be falsely holding his head high, feigning dignity. At least I hope that was why his body language reflected a “holier than thou” attitude. I imagine he is afraid. He is human. A human who got lost in the power of inspiring people to greater heights.

James Ray is magnetic as a speaker and personal development guru. His free seminars are actually giant sales pitches for his week and weekend long retreats, such as the one in Sedona. I was mesmerized until he got to the end of his talk that was like a guy at the carnival barking out his attempts for you to shoot the ducks in his booth. “Let me take your money…a lot of it!” is how I would paraphrase the schtick. So the shine came off the star very quickly for me, though I sent him a copy of my book (that I have few left of) with a note of gratitude for the earlier part of his message which was quite good. I never heard from him or anyone in his office. I was given his address by a friend of a friend who is or was his pr person. I mentioned her in the note. Nothing. I slowly let go of my hope that he was really doing a good thing. I decided he was lost in the greed of it and stopped listening until the sweat lodge.

Now James Ray’s biggest teaching is an enormous view of what happens when greed takes over. Somebody gets hurt, somebody loses, someone has pain. In James’ case, it was a horrific tragedy for the people who died and the people who love them, as well as the others who participated in the $9000 week. So, as you head out there toward your dream, claim first your authenticity. Stay with it. Remember why you headed that way in the first place. You are going there because that is who you are, a helper, a nurturer, an activist, a friend of the planet. You know that everyone is created equally and of the same cloth. If you are like me, you wonder why some people are so lost and then you realize that most likely we all get lost in the wilderness, looking for the light across the forest and head to it. The journey to the light is the story we tell when we have found our way into the clearing. We tell it to recount it, to deepen its experiences, to share it so others might find the same elation of stepping into the field of multitudes of flowers and sunshine and blue sky and white puffy clouds.

Amen

This morning I  cleared the deck for action. Literally, though it is my desk I cleared. (There is still snow on my deck.) I spent the month of January with my desktop cluttered. Now it is organized and ready for action. I’ve spent the last few weeks making calls to stores, asking them to take a look at the Verbal Remedies™ product line, which includes the Earth Pledge of Allegiance and the Peace & Love symbol. I ordered 2000 Peace & Love window/bumper stickers, which should be here any day. I paid with my charge card and a great big helping of trust that people will love them and order them so quickly that I will be placing a reorder by the end of February.  So far…well, I continue to trust and make calls. I believe in what I am doing. I see the smiles spring to the faces of those who view my art. People all over Asheville sport the Peace & Love symbol on their cars and on shirts and hats that were produced a few years ago. Here is a picture of what the sticker looks like. Whaddya think?

When I woke up this morning, I had a different view as to how this day was going to play out. That changed at 8:15am when my daughter called and needed something. It’s not that I couldn’t say no, I didn’t want to. My 3 children are not children anymore to the world. All 3 have a family and work. All 3 have a home they maintain. All 3 have dogs. When they call and ask, I say yes in my head before I think it through. Usually the answer comes out of my mouth yes. My heart usually wins when it comes to them.

And that is what happened today. I rearranged my day to make it work so I could help at the beginning of the day and the end of the day. My reward was spending time with Elliot, my 2 year old granddaughter. My oldest daughter’s daughter. I remembered, as I followed quickly on her running little heels through the mall, days of following my own children. I knelt down beside her as she opened and closed every box on the shelf. I did not have that much patience with my own children. I know now that there is no sense arguing with a 2 year old. It’s best to watch and listen. It ends up taking far less time and a whole ton less angst.

Anyway…nothing more than that to write about. I’m tired and want to watch Desperate Housewives on abc.com. Nothing is coming up that feels worth expounding on. No gems of inspiration tonight. Stay tuned…

Today is the 1 year anniversary of Markus’ death. We celebrated him yesterday at Anna’s, gathering some of the people who were at the core of the grief last year. Anniversary and celebration…hardly 2 words that feel completely appropriate in light of the subject. And yet they are appropriate with a big helping of sadness on the side. It’s taken me all this time to get it that he is not coming back. That his life is over. Where is he? What is he? Does he still exist outside of our own hearts and minds, photos and video? My quick answer is yes. I hope that is so.

And what if the answer is no? What if there is no individual existence after this life? How does that change how we live? For me it changes nothing, other than to continue getting as much out of being alive as possible. Appreciating everything. Every last bit of it is a blessing, even the times when it feels like our hearts are breaking. Maybe even especially then because we get to feel our humanity deeply. It is not our hearts that are breaking. It is the walls we have constructed around them so we do not feel. When those walls break, we feel and we learn. And we appreciate.

It’s beginning to snow here in Asheville. When I was out today I heard a couple people dreading this snow. They are still recovering from the snow in late December that put a whole lot of people without electricity and others stranded on the road. So people are preparing for what they perceive as possible problems. Me, I’m happy, though I was not here for the first snow. I’ve got a fire catching in the woodstove and wood stacked up outside. I have enough food for a couple people for a couple days in my kitchen.

All the world becomes peaceful when the snow falls. There is a hush that comes over the land. Like a soft blanket muffling the sounds of the world. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Breathe deeply.

Wishing I had a bottle of wine. Not as prepared as I thought.

I pledge allegiance to the Earth. I commit to loving this planet and all her inhabitants.

I pledge allegiance to the Flora, the fauna and the human life that it supports. I pledge to recognize each as a form of life to be honored and respected and acknowledged and appreciated as a part of creation, which makes us connected at the intrinsic level. (I think I used that word correctly…)

One Planet indivisible, with safe air, water and soil, economic justice, equal rights, and peace and love for all. We are each responsible for making it and keeping it this way and creating a wave of peace, coming from love, for all beings.

Is it a divine plan that as a general rule, the people of this country are too frightened to peer too long into what is really going on? We divert. Movies, TV, romance day-to-dayness. We have dumbed ourselves down into a “you do it…and fast” kind of people. We endure hardship without a lot of grace. “Whose fault is it I am unemployed?” Perhaps it is a trick of fate and perhaps it is self-inflicted and perhaps it is both. Our mentality is “who can I sue to make me feel better?”

Okay. So that is only part of us. Another voice, very quickly becoming a loud voice of peaceful union, is growing. I am taking my place in this vast group of beings. Now as I write. I agree to be courageous to a point that keeps me personally safe. That’s my limitation I hope I have earned. I intend to live in peace and love for many decades to teach the children. I have much to do and much to teach and I have only just begun to live…white lace and promises

Last night, a group of beautiful women gathered in my home, making it theirs for the evening. One of these inspired, beautiful-inside-and-out women shared the following about being in a feeling of void:

“To change, we must go through a transition zone. It’s not easy being in transition. Thoughts, beliefs and habits are all in flux. It can create a sense of groundlessness, of being in a void that can be quite uncomfortable.

When we’re in the void, our first impulse will be to revert to old habits because they feel comfortable. Our goal is to hang in there until the change is complete. Knowing that transitions are part of the change process helps us muster the courage to put up with the discomfort, the uneasiness, the void.

Change requires a letting go of what we’ve always known and done to allow in something new. we need to trust ourselves and higher forces to unfold a new reality for us.”

I’m not sure who wrote these words and I thank you, whoever you are. Here is a quote by Dan Millman, former world-champion athlete, university coach, martial arts instructor, and college professor whose books include Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Journeys of Socrates, and The Life You Were Born to Live…

“When we feel stuck, going nowhere, even starting to slip backward, we may actually be backing up to get a running start.”