Lorelie and her Verbal Remedies for your soul! Inspiration, support and laughter to live your life as who you really are. Be who you are. It is so much more than enough.
For the past couple weeks, I have been feeling fairly chaotic internally. Pretty sure it must show up externally. Today I insisted that the chaos end, that a shift be made. A shift into this life that I dream of–writing, illustrating, a speaker of Verbal Remedies, earning a living doing it. Each month for the last few, since Markus died, my monetary world has been growing smaller. This month I have a little less than last to pay my bills. I remind myself fairly quickly that I am blessed in so many ways, which doesn’t allow me to grieve the life that I have wished for that has yet to show up. So what else is there to do but stop hoping for it? Let it go. Let go of the dream as I have dreamed it and let it come to me as the world has dreamed it. And hope the world knows what it’s doing.
Tune in next time to see if shift happens and Breah can really let go…dum de dum dum dahhhhhhh! Cut to commercial.
There is a lot to be grateful for at this moment. My 80 year old mother is getting engaged to be married tonight. The weather is perfect for my liking. I just practiced yoga that was blissful. And then I come home to my sweet little house in West Asheville and grow sad that I am still alone in my life in terms of partnership. It’s been 10 years since I divorced with the clear intention of remarrying within a year…which seemed like a long time to me at the time. In the 10 years since, I have not been in even one romantic partnership. Oh, I have loved for sure. But no one has said yes to me. As I write that sentence my heart swells and sinks to my stomach. I wonder if this is the never ending story of my life – to be so ready, so available, so desirous of living my life with a man who is my best friend and lover…and never have it come to me. Dear God, that cannot be. The pain of that thought is too much for me to sustain and so I move quickly to the things that I do have in my life that I am most grateful to be blessed with… Read the rest of this entry »
We should come with some kind of guide book, though that would do little good since we can hardly see and can’t read for several years. By that time a whole bunch of damage can be and usually is done. However… It is never too late to have a happy childhood. Doesn’t matter what age you are. Decide today that you are just fine just as you are. And here’s the important part. Believe it. Because you are.
The key is forgiveness and appreciation for it all, even the stuff that you might think was completely unnecessary. It brought you to this moment. All of it. And because you are alive, it is a good moment. Life is good.
This morning I wake to sunshine and birds chirping after several days of dark skies and the sound of rain. I love the rain and I love the sunshine. I also wake to the commitment I made over the weekend that today I start a body cleanse. That means juicing, no solid food for days. There is a voice inside that is telling me as loudly as I will let it speak that I will not make it…again. I’ve attempted juicing and fasting and normally don’t make it past lunchtime, giving in to the voice that says I can’t. “It’s too hard. What are you doing this for? To get skinny? To attract a man? What makes you think that when you’re thinner it’ll be any different? Might as well eat…” Read the rest of this entry »
I am borrowing the title of Margaret Wheatley’s book about new ways of being in organizations, Finding Our Way. I read it a few years ago (and recommend it) when I was working in a company where my way of being was challenged by a man who was operating from an old paradigm of crushing creativity to show his power and thus gain control. It didn’t work for him as it isn’t working at all anymore. We are being asked to consider alternate routes in our behavior. It is nearly to the point of the planet demanding that we do things differently. I believe we are at that point. We are taking a look at our acceptable lives and making some changes.
A decade ago I changed up my life in a very big way. I thought I had everything I needed to begin this new life I envisioned. It didn’t work out that way. Instead of finding what I planned, I found this person I kinda knew was there way down deep inside, hiding mostly because I was sure she was not what people wanted to see, not good enough I thought. I did the comparison and I normally came up short.
Along the way I have met a whole bunch of other people who felt the same way and many who still do. We are learning the value of being ourselves, warts and all. Life is exhilarating once those steps are taken, or at the least very interesting. The whole of existence conspires to help us along and when we pay attention there is an brand new road laid out before us.
We are not so different from one another. We may be at different stages of growth, different life circumstances, economic means but we are pretty much the same on the inside. We are, as the bumper sticker pronounces, all one…and we’re here to support one another to live the life of our dreams. The one where we get to be who we are, whoever that is. If we aren’t who we are, who will be? Nobody else can be. Each of us is individually beautifully part of one big puzzle. And you know what happens when there is a piece missing.
Namasté is the sanskrit salutation that means honoring the place where we are one.
Life. Loving it. Fearing it. Wishing it. Hoping it.
All balled up in the chaos of trying to make it work.
A vision of running through a forest,
Screaming down a winding path that leads to the river
Belly flopping in, surfacing with a burst of laughter.
Others have joined in,
having made the same wild splash
into the cooling waters,
adding to the sparkling sound of noisy joy.
The laughter settles down,
And I relax into the water,
lie back and float with the current.
The sky is a vivid blue
with scattered white puffy clouds.
There is a hush as the water fills my ears
muffling the sounds of life.
It’s peaceful. A respite.
I feed the urge to stand in the water,
find my ground, stepping out,
Lie on a wide, flat rock by the bank.
I want to, and I do, look at my world
with the eyes of a child…upside down.
See the river in the sky
and the sky in the river.
A playful disorientation,
looking at the everything out of context,
enjoying the silliness, playing “what if”.
As long as I am breathing, I will always be alive.
As long as I am alive, I will always be evolving.
As long as I am evolving, I will always be changing.
As long as I am changing, I will always be conscious.
As long as I am conscious, I will always be deliberate.
As long as I am deliberate, I will always be intentional.
As long as I am intentional, I will always be focused.
As long as I am focused, I will always be consistent.
As long as I am consistent, I will always be certain.
I have just watched Susan Boyle’s performance on Britain’s Got Talent. Tears are still damp on my cheeks. This is the second time I’ve watched this. What I realize this time is that we truly love seeing someone arise in glory from a supposed place of not-so-glorious. Maybe it comes from our own insecurities and feelings that we must be absolutely perfect to rise above the things we feel keep us down. Susan Boyle shows us that is not so. Hooray, Susan! And thank you for dreaming your dream and making it happen in a way that helps so many feel their own dreams are possible.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Evidence of that is all around us as we move into spring. It’s time for us to let go of the blankets we have used to stay comfortable during the cold, dark nights. It is time to stand in all our beauty and show ourselves to ourselves and to the world. Good morning, Starshine. The earth says hello.
