Beans and Berries is opening tomorrow at the downtown Asheville YMCA and this afternoon I painted some more of the mural that decorates the walls. Beans and Berries is my kids’ and their partner’s smoothie coffee café http://beansandberriesavl.com. I created their logo and branding, painting a mural at the first 2 locations. As I painted today, I was within easy earshot of a man talking fairly loudly on his cell phone. I found it be quite distracting and tipping over into annoying when I realized that I was becoming angry. His conversation was tinged with a lot of looking at things from the darker side. Generally I don’t think like that and do not want to have someone else’s point of view, particularly if it is negative, thrust upon me without my consent.

I began practicing in my mind what I could say to him

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On the radio again today. Must say that I do love that. What is it about the radio that turns me on? Is it that there is the possibility that my voice is reaching someone who might be driving the kids around from one activity to another, or coming home from work. Or lying on the couch wondering what life is supposed to be for.

It’s easy to understand why some people are feeling like all is lost and that there is no way back. Things in many peoples lives are at their most difficult. I don’t know if the media is picking up more on these awful tragedies that are happening or if the number of them has escalated to a point I cannot ever remember in my life hearing about.

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As much as I want to escape from this feeling that I keep tucking back down inside of me, I know this time I want to stay all the way through. Stay where? Stay in the emotion that keeps nudging my diaphragm. Well it feels like my diaphragm. It’s in that region of the third chakra. The Manipura, the will power chakra. That seems to be the place where I generally stop the feeling and tamp it back down to the netherlands of my first and second chakras. No wonder I have low back pain. Got a bunch of stuff that sits there wishing to be expelled. And so I do, through my yoga practice. I let go. However I had so much stuff from past that needed to leave, I’m just now getting to the current issues at hand with some focus and clarity.

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That is what I intend lately. Fierce Grace.

I feel fierce. I feel fiercely passionate about being me and helping others find their “me”.  My passion is to light up some dark corner that holds the magic key to self discovery. I have found that key, though I am not sure I can assuredly say I know the key for any other being. Until someone asks me a question.

I know I have hit upon something that is truth when I see the light in that person’s eyes. It goes on. There is a sparkle. I live for the sparkle. I pray that I say something that will help this person before me feel the river of love. That is my desire. That is my life’s work.

The life I stand in now feels so very familiar, though I can’t say that I have allowed it to surface clearly until recently. There was a fear that being this me that I was getting to know again would be rejected as I perceived it to be when I was quite young and since. However, that fear no longer keeps me quiet. I acknowledge it and move ahead anyway. With fierce grace.