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This weekend was full up with possibilities as the moon rose to full. Yesterday I went to Jubilee!, a “creation spirituality” church in downtown Asheville. I don’t go so much anymore, though when I do I am always touched either briefly or deeply. Yesterday was deeply moving. A friend I hadn’t seen in 6 years came up from Raleigh. When I knew him, he was sad because he wished his life to be full of love, a wife, a family. He came back yesterday with his family to celebrate his son’s 4 year old birthday. To see the peace and the joy on their faces filled me up with love like a rushing river of hope. Howard Hangar’s (the minister) theme for the day was magic. Seeing the magic. When we see the magic, we can have it. If we miss it, we cannot have it. Look for the magic this week. It is all around you.

As much as I want to escape from this feeling that I keep tucking back down inside of me, I know this time I want to stay all the way through. Stay where? Stay in the emotion that keeps nudging my diaphragm. Well it feels like my diaphragm. It’s in that region of the third chakra. The Manipura, the will power chakra. That seems to be the place where I generally stop the feeling and tamp it back down to the netherlands of my first and second chakras. No wonder I have low back pain. Got a bunch of stuff that sits there wishing to be expelled. And so I do, through my yoga practice. I let go. However I had so much stuff from past that needed to leave, I’m just now getting to the current issues at hand with some focus and clarity.

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I wake this morning with that title thought. There is a general feeling of waiting for things to calm down, feeling ungrounded, uncertain. The media treats us like puppies on a leash, pulling us in one direction then another, wherever government or somebody wants us to go. We had this feeling that with the election of Obama we were going to miraculously climb out of the trenches and be back in our technicolor Pleasantvilles again. But the chaos lingers, the fight over healthcare, the gas prices rising and falling, the stock market, blah, blah, blah. And then there is everyday life, relationships, work or lack of it, illnesses, cleaning the toilet. How does one maintain or achieve a positive outlook with all of this and more?

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For the past couple weeks, I have been feeling fairly chaotic internally. Pretty sure it must show up externally. Today I insisted that the chaos end, that a shift be made. A shift into this life that I dream of–writing, illustrating, a speaker of  Verbal Remedies, earning a living doing it. Each month for the last few, since Markus died, my monetary world has been growing smaller. This month I have a little less than last to pay my bills. I remind myself fairly quickly that I am blessed in so many ways, which doesn’t allow me to grieve the life that I have wished for that has yet to show up. So what else is there to do but stop hoping for it? Let it go. Let go of the dream as I have dreamed it and let it come to me as the world has dreamed it. And hope the world knows what it’s doing.

Tune in next time to see if shift happens and Breah can really let go…dum de dum dum dahhhhhhh! Cut to commercial.

I’m not sure I have anything of value to say anymore. Hasn’t it all been said? Over and over again? Last night I went to listen to a free concert offered by James Taylor in support of Barack Obama becoming president. Though I was quite happy to be listening to this man who was an icon of my younger days, I found myself more inspired by the man who gave the invocation speech. Howard Hangar is the minister of a church I attended for several years here in Asheville. It is difficult to call Jubilee! a church as it is a far cry from the Catholic churches I knew so well from my childhood.

Jubilee! is (and the exclamation mark is a definitive part of the name) a place where misfits gather to find themselves again. In fact, Asheville is a place where misfits gather to find themselves again. Asheville draws people here who

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