Lorelie and her Verbal Remedies for your soul! Inspiration, support and laughter to live your life as who you really are. Be who you are. It is so much more than enough.
I wake this morning with that title thought. There is a general feeling of waiting for things to calm down, feeling ungrounded, uncertain. The media treats us like puppies on a leash, pulling us in one direction then another, wherever government or somebody wants us to go. We had this feeling that with the election of Obama we were going to miraculously climb out of the trenches and be back in our technicolor Pleasantvilles again. But the chaos lingers, the fight over healthcare, the gas prices rising and falling, the stock market, blah, blah, blah. And then there is everyday life, relationships, work or lack of it, illnesses, cleaning the toilet. How does one maintain or achieve a positive outlook with all of this and more?
For the past couple weeks, I have been feeling fairly chaotic internally. Pretty sure it must show up externally. Today I insisted that the chaos end, that a shift be made. A shift into this life that I dream of–writing, illustrating, a speaker of Verbal Remedies, earning a living doing it. Each month for the last few, since Markus died, my monetary world has been growing smaller. This month I have a little less than last to pay my bills. I remind myself fairly quickly that I am blessed in so many ways, which doesn’t allow me to grieve the life that I have wished for that has yet to show up. So what else is there to do but stop hoping for it? Let it go. Let go of the dream as I have dreamed it and let it come to me as the world has dreamed it. And hope the world knows what it’s doing.
Tune in next time to see if shift happens and Breah can really let go…dum de dum dum dahhhhhhh! Cut to commercial.
There is a lot to be grateful for at this moment. My 80 year old mother is getting engaged to be married tonight. The weather is perfect for my liking. I just practiced yoga that was blissful. And then I come home to my sweet little house in West Asheville and grow sad that I am still alone in my life in terms of partnership. It’s been 10 years since I divorced with the clear intention of remarrying within a year…which seemed like a long time to me at the time. In the 10 years since, I have not been in even one romantic partnership. Oh, I have loved for sure. But no one has said yes to me. As I write that sentence my heart swells and sinks to my stomach. I wonder if this is the never ending story of my life – to be so ready, so available, so desirous of living my life with a man who is my best friend and lover…and never have it come to me. Dear God, that cannot be. The pain of that thought is too much for me to sustain and so I move quickly to the things that I do have in my life that I am most grateful to be blessed with…
This morning I wake to sunshine and birds chirping after several days of dark skies and the sound of rain. I love the rain and I love the sunshine. I also wake to the commitment I made over the weekend that today I start a body cleanse. That means juicing, no solid food for days. There is a voice inside that is telling me as loudly as I will let it speak that I will not make it…again. I’ve attempted juicing and fasting and normally don’t make it past lunchtime, giving in to the voice that says I can’t. “It’s too hard. What are you doing this for? To get skinny? To attract a man? What makes you think that when you’re thinner it’ll be any different? Might as well eat…”
As long as I am breathing, I will always be alive.
As long as I am alive, I will always be evolving.
As long as I am evolving, I will always be changing.
As long as I am changing, I will always be conscious.
As long as I am conscious, I will always be deliberate.
As long as I am deliberate, I will always be intentional.
As long as I am intentional, I will always be focused.
As long as I am focused, I will always be consistent.
As long as I am consistent, I will always be certain.
Take it easy. Invariably this comes out of my mouth as I am leaving someone, either in person, on the phone and sometimes in an email. And just about as many times I think about what those words mean. Take it easy. Take what easy? Life. Take it easy through the day as stuff comes up, as stuff will. It always does. When least expected.
Wrapping ourselves up around the stuff holds it tight, ensuring we keep it for a while until some emotion comes along and helps us to release it. Instead of doing the spider trick and weaving a web of “of course” around it, take a look at whatever it is and know that it is going to move through with or without our help.
If there is something that can be done, great. Do it. If not, take a deep breath, make a prayer of whatever your intention is for the outcome and let it go. Trust and let the river flow.
Dare I write this in my blog? Write what I am feeling today? The ick?
I woke up with the knowing that I had better take care of my bills today, pretty sure that I had more than enough in my account to take care of March. Well, I don’t. At first I gasped, then pulled myself together, gettin a grip. That didn’t last for long as a friend called and asked how I was doing. Boom, blam, splat, sniff, cough. Sob. What the h-e-double hockey sticks? Haven’t I been doing what I have felt I needed to do? Haven’t I been a good girl, God?
This is an article written by Randy Siegel I found absolutely perfect to pass along to you. Very inspiring.
Looking into her face as she shared her story I faced my greatest fear. My friend had lost everything: her marriage, home, and almost all her savings. “I’m starting over,” she said matter-of-factly, “and that’s not so bad.” Not so bad! I thought. It’s the worst thing that could happen.
The supports holding up her life were being cut out from underneath her, yet she was still standing. She was standing even taller than before.
Less than one month ago, another friend was sharing a similar story. He was on the verge of bankruptcy. His income source had dried up, and his life savings were quickly dwindling. His beautiful house was on the market, and he was desperately trying to sell his beloved grand piano.
While my two friends’ situations are similar, the way each is dealing with them is not. One is racked with anxiety; the other is calm, almost serene. What appears to be a closed door to one is a swinging door to the other. Walking through it, she is entering a new life and a new way of being.
Originally, she came to me for advice, but I became the student. In sharing her life, my friend was teaching me how to face turmoil with grace. As she talked, three strategies for coping with crisis emerged.
I wake this morning with that title thought. There is a general feeling of waiting for things to calm down, feeling ungrounded, uncertain. The media treats us like puppies on a leash, pulling us in one direction then another, wherever government or somebody wants us to go. We had this feeling that with the election of Obama we were going to miraculously climb out of the trenches and be back in our technicolor Pleasantvilles again. But the chaos lingers, the fight over healthcare, the gas prices rising and falling, the stock market, blah, blah, blah. And then there is everyday life, relationships, work or lack of it, illnesses, cleaning the toilet. How does one maintain or achieve a positive outlook with all of this and more?
