Waking up this morning to the realization that it is now February, the Hallmark designated month of love, I froze for a moment. Once again, another Valentine’s Day without a Valentine. But wait, I thought. I have many Valentines…starting with my children and grandchildren. I can make this month all about giving love instead of my usual seeking it. I’m pretty sure that I am not alone in having a deep need to express love. And I’m pretty sure I am not alone in thinking that first I have to have someone who expresses love to me so I feel safe enough to express back. A whole bunch of us wait around until it is safe enough to express love…get the picture? Somebody has to go first! So…here I go, here we go. Let’s get out there this month and BE LOVE! Come back here and let us all know what happens as a result.

Nearly 2 decades ago…not really sure of the time frame…I made a decision to “practice positive”, switch around how I focused on things, situations and people around me. My well-entrenched habit was to look at things as though the bottom was about to fall out of any situation, if it hadn’t already. What I know now is that a shift in what I focus on in any given situation determines how I move through it and how it it affects those around me.

This weekend I made the decision to euthanize my little, wacky, beloved Shih Tzu, Chloe. “Put her to sleep” is more preferred as it portrays a loving kindness that was inherently wished for in taking the action.

My dear friend Amos stood through it with me. She helped me to stay grounded. Just by her presence as she freely and lovingly fed back to me my open thoughts. Guiding me to a stronger self.

The circle of fine women who gathered. Divinely given.

The support team at the vet hospital. Beautiful.

And Chloe. Brave Chloe. Strong Chloe. Loving Chloe. Feisty Chloe. Insistent Chloe. She kept us captive of a bit of tension in her later years. Still she delighted with her latest toy, the green alligator. Molly hasn’t touched it since Chloe has been gone. Molly is sad. She is my big briard that Chloe bullied. A site to see with the two of them playing tug of war inches from each others face. Chloe was a daredevil. Or she simply didn’t let size be a unit of measure of worth to her.

I pray she is at peace with my decision, that she is happy about it. That she is free of pain. That she knows she is loved and missed. That she is playing with Luci. Chloe and Luci. Namaste.

I have been traveling quite a bit in the last 6 months, working with consulting groups who support companies to have meetings that are focused on humanity rather than the profits they hope to gain as a result. I think that is okay. It is a fine switch in mentality and definitely on the road to healing what ails corporate America. People seeing people. After all, corporations are made up of people. Without people is there a corporation?

So all this traveling puts me out of touch with a consistent social network at home and my socializing seems to be primarily the teams I work with and a few really great friends I mostly hang out with via cell phone. One of those friends is my sister. We are having a renewed relationship as we both seem to be needing the other for a landing place in the rough seas. It is really nice to have her and the other women I talk with, of varying ages. My children are also a big part of my life, all grown up and growing families of their own. In fact we just added the newest family member last Saturday with the birth of my daughter’s daughter. Holding her today was a little slice of heaven and a big dose of what is real and important.

I am hoping that with my latest technological purchase of my iPad and downloading wordpress app that I will write more frequently and share what I hope is Interesting and inspiring. That remains to be seen.

Tomorrow I will talk to a group of artists, entrepreneurial creatives who have come to a free workshop about the legal side of their business of selling their art. What I bet is that these are people who are determined to make their world happen as they have envisioned. Though I am not sure of what I will say exactly, I am sure that my intent is for as many people as possible walking away with a renewed sense of appreciation for themselves. And a knowing that they are part of the change of this world, looking to organic beauty, looking to peace, looking to love.

I am excited because this is what I have planned to be my future, offering conversation with an audience, encouraging those people to be who they are because it is so much more than enough to make a difference in this world. I experimented with this last year when I thought I might be dying. I had no medical reason to think so, it was just a fear because my father died at my age most likely. Well I made it to this next birthday a couple weeks ago and, as life would have it, it seems rather than ending my life is just beginning once again. Perhaps that is what I sensed was dying, that person I had been being because I was afraid to be me.

And now, now that I am allowing myself to see myself, all kinds of wonderful things are showing up. Things that I had been trying so hard to  make happen are flowing more easily into my world. I am most grateful for all that I have and am getting pretty demanding that a couple that are outstanding find their way in. One is more wonderful work and the other is a romance…pretty standard fare. Match.com and eHarmony are not the answer. Are you possibly reading this? Dare to dream

A Hope Elder Speaks

“You have been telling the people that this is the Hour. And there are things to be considered…

Where are you living?

What are you doing?

What are your relationships?

Are you in right relation?

Where is your water?

Know your garden.

It is time to speak your Truth.

Create your community.

Be good to each other.

And do not look outside yourself for the leader.”

Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, “This could be a good time!”

“There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are torn apart and will suffer greatly.

“Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above water. And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

“The time for the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

“We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” –attributed to an unnamed Hopi Elder, Oraibi, Arizona

It’s been over a month since I wrote here last. Skipping through all that has happened, I land here today with a new household full of people I love. My son, his wife, 2 year old baby girl and their Golden Retriever have moved to Asheville and are staying with me until they find a place of their own. It reminds me of the story of the man (let’s call him KuKu) who goes to his guru for advice…

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I just watched this feature story on CNN.com touting yoga. It’s a beautifully powerful story. http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2010/04/21/dnt.mans.yoga.weight.loss.plan.WXYZ?hpt=T2

I ended the previous post with gratitude, claiming a new story is emerging. So what’s the story? A very Brooklyn-like accent punctuates this question. Humor, y’know. Humor is a respite from a world that has seemingly gone mad. I’ve just read through the headlines once again on cnn.com. Oye. Don’t want to go there this morning. Humor. It’s a way of looking at the world with a smile that comes from the head and lands in the heart. A purposeful thought of twisting a situation into a laugh.

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The start of a new day, new week, new time zone and most importantly a slide into spring! Winter was a more difficult than most winters have been in the years I have lived in Asheville. But who wants to talk about snow when there are green shoots popping up in gardens, birds preparing their nests and a general feeling of “wooohooooo, we made it!” in the air? Let’s focus on possibilities. What is new today that wasn’t apparent last Monday? It seems we have learned that there is a time for every season. We’ve been strengthened by the more difficult moments, preparing to be all we are, through the restraint of being held captive through weather and economy. Think about the most glorious flower being groomed below the earth to grunt its way through the warming soil, soak up the nourishing rains to grow the bud and finally spring open and face the sun. It’s spring, y’all.

This weekend was yoga training weekend. We spent some time on the throat chakra, the communication chakra that supports speaking the truth. It’s the deep truth, the one that we share with ourself. It is the knowing of who we are at the soul level. We sat in meditation for 45 minutes at the beginning of the day yesterday, practicing alternate nostril breathing. Somewhere toward the end, I noticed the quiet place of being inside this body. I noticed that no matter what the shape of this body is, I am there. I thought for a moment of someone who is inside a body that doesn’t work so well and the strength of their spirit, being of exceptional value to the world, large or small.

I am grateful for a very healthy and strong body. It has not yet reached its peak, though I am moving towards it. My work has not yet reached its peak and I am moving toward that. I am well supported in life, up or down. Lately the roller coaster of emotions has been active yet subdued. I’ve got an awareness that all is well, no matter how it looks. People who seek peace and love are becoming more vocal. It is becoming more and more clear that it takes us coming together with a common intention to get things done. People are partnering and re-partnering, becoming more aware of each moment. “Make today today.” (lyrics from a song by James Taylor)  It’s another way of saying live in the moment. Make now now and not the next day or the day before.

Agreement comes to those who seek it. Think on that for a moment. It’s so simple and so true.