Winding Up April
This is the last week of April, 2010. Where did this month go? That seems to continue to put people into an awe state…time moving so very quickly. Is it a result of getting older and having so much left to do when it is extremely possible that most of our days are behind us? Or is it across the board, younger and older alike who are experiencing the swift movement of the days? I’d like to know.
Recapping my own month is a habit as I near toward the end. I normally measure it in “how much money did I make this month” because I am keenly aware of the following month’s bills coming due. Oh, I know that success is not measured ultimately in dollars and yet it is what allows us to function in this world. Some days it is enough to simply have enough, though I am most happy when it comes through doing something I love doing.
This month’s end finds me physically tired. It’s been lovely to begin working in the yard, planting new and rearranging old. It also adds to my plate of things to do and my perception of so little time is reflected in the chaos of my house and car interiors. There are things left out that I hope to eventually find a home for, either in storage or recycling or (last resort) trash. Those things pile up while I am taking care of the immediate. It seems I am simply moving from one task to the next and not making any headway, though I suppose I can turn that look around and see that the fact that I am continuing to work as headway. This time last year I was borrowing money to make it through the month of April and May. Feels very good to be handling it well myself this year. That’s headway.
Money aside, what kind of headway have I made? This has been a month of growth in the relationship department. My son and his family have made plans to move here from Aspen and they will stay with me for a moment as they find their own home. I’ve been cast in a play that revolves around my character. The drama off-stage rivals that of on…relationship building. Some stronger steps are being taken to express myself in truth to my myself, which is easily the norm rather than not now. Headway.
The world seems to be truly shaking things up this month. So many earthquakes, volcano. It is becoming the norm to see that there has been yet another large earthquake causing devastation in someone’s life. We are becoming numbed out by the tragedies, so much so that we must shake ourselves and remind ourselves to be grateful for what we have right now.
Yesterday my daughter and granddaughter were driving through an intersection on a green light when a woman did not notice her own red light and crashed into my daughter’s car. When seeing the car coming at her, my daughter’s instinct was to turn and look at her own daughter in the car seat. My heart turns to a puddle when I think of the possibilities of that split second in time and gratitude overwhelms me to know they are unhurt and still lighting up my world.
