On the radio again today. Must say that I do love that. What is it about the radio that turns me on? Is it that there is the possibility that my voice is reaching someone who might be driving the kids around from one activity to another, or coming home from work. Or lying on the couch wondering what life is supposed to be for.

It’s easy to understand why some people are feeling like all is lost and that there is no way back. Things in many peoples lives are at their most difficult. I don’t know if the media is picking up more on these awful tragedies that are happening or if the number of them has escalated to a point I cannot ever remember in my life hearing about. Parents killing children. I don’t get it. What horrible thing has to come over a person to justify killing an innocent creature.

Yesterday my daughter’s little Shih Tzu, Luci, was attacked by some very large, chained up dogs. Luci wandered over to their yard and one of the dogs shook her until my granddaughter’s nanny kicked the dog sufficiently for him to let go of Luci. The automatic that kicked in for our nanny to do that in protection of a little creature must have been huge as her family has reason to be frightened of dogs attacking.

The feeling that I had was not unlike the feeling I have when I read about the horrors of the aforementioned murders of young children. The big dog attacking the little dog. Why? What possible harm could such a small little being do? Truly. The innocence factor is staggering. I pray every day that my children and their children remain safe and whole and healthy. For a very long time, one in which they all get to witness at least their great grandchildren or that of their siblings.

So when do you think enough is enough? What tragedy has to happen that is large enough to shake you up and send you in search of yourself and demanding some respect, of yourself for yourself? That’s what I essentially had to ask myself. Why in the world am I continuing to live in the world where what I want is unattainable? This is made up in my mind. And so is what I want.

What I want most in life is a continuous reason for being and so it falls to me to create those reasons, or allow them into my life. Open my heart to the passions of another. I meant that in terms of a personal passion, though I can see where it might have multiple meanings. And I like those meanings too. Though that scares me most of all. I crave it and it scares me. Paradox. I crave it and I let it go. Big paradox. For now I am given the time to pursue my own passion. I’m letting myself enter into that world in earnest. Frightening and exciting and normal. Such is my life.

So back to the radio. I love it. Does that mean a Verbal Remedies radio show is happening? Or does that mean that I am a perpetual guest? I believe it means that I will have that radio show. Maybe like the Accidental Husband. The radio show will spawn the book and will spawn the product line and will spawn the talk show circuit, and will spawn a love like no other. Thought I’d just throw that in while I’m talking about excitement. But truly. Come one. I’ve been single for 11 years. In anyone’s mind that has to be long enough, doesn’t it? I can learn the rest of it from within the status of “in a relationship” on facebook. So whaddya think? How about everyone who is reading this, close your eyes, right now,  and see me meeting the man of my dreams and add in that he falls for me just as I fall for him. That’s been a missing ingredient. You might even see me getting married to him on a beach or near a flowing stream of creek or river. I would like to wear a wedding gown of sorts (just to give you a little help imagining) and the man I am marrying is beautiful with crystal clear eyes. Do you see it? And so it is…